Wormy

My daughter loves worms. She actually loves them to death! She will beg me to find her one, I do feel bad giving her a healthy, juicy worm, knowing that, within hours it will be near death, stretched out, skinny and dry. My daughter thinks she is showing the worm love, by putting it in her pocket so it won't run away.  She thinks the worm is having fun, being slowly rolled down the hot slide, or being swung on her swing....really, really high!

 I watch as she dances with wormy, declares her love for wormy,  then chucks wormy across the yard when wormy poops on her hand. She spends the next hour trying to find her lost love, while whining and crying the whole time. By the time she finally finds wormy, he's lifeless and dry. Lunch time (for the kids, not wormy), my daughter uses all of her toddler skills to try and get wormy into the house with her. After many minutes of a borderline nutty (tantrum), I talk her into letting wormy take a nap outside, while she eats her lunch.

Lunch is always full of drama, my daughter forgets about her pet that is outside on the patio, in a bucket with 4 pieces of grass, in the hot, summer sun. I ship her and her brothers off to bed for their naps, trying to keep the focus on tasks at hand, we don't need anymore drama. Once they are all in bed and quiet, I sneak outside, carefully pick up the bucket with my daughters new best friend in it and carry it to the garden. I empty him out, being sure that he is hidden from sight. I place the bucket back where it was on the patio.

My daughter wakes up an hour later in a panic, "Mom, I gotta go see wormy!". She runs out the door, hair sticking up all over, still half asleep. The drama begins again, wormy is gone! I tell her that he must have crawled out of the bucket and went back home to see his mom. Since this is something she can relate to, she is sad, but understands. She tells the boys the sad news and runs off to go swing. Ten minutes later, shes digging, "Mom, can you help me find a worm?"

The Naked Truth

I am seriously thinking about moving my family to the nearest nudist colony,  so I can cut back on doing so many loads of laundry per day.

Am I really talking?

Sometimes I'm not sure if I am really talking to my kids, or if their ears are just flapped over and they cannot hear me. I have to say things 3 or 4 times until they even acknowledge that I am talking to them. Another 5 or 6 times until they actually hear what I am saying to them. Another 2 hours until they finally do what I've been asking them to do! I feel like all I do is repeat myself, the same phrases over and over. I am so sick of saying these things...
 

1. Get your finger out of your nose!
2. Get your finger out of your sister's nose!
3. What button did you push?
4. How did you get your finger stuck in there?
5. Where is your brother?
6. Don't eat that!
7. Please eat!
8. Get off the cat!
9. Get off your head!
10. Get off your sister's head!
11. Don't spit that out!
12. Spit that out right now!
13. Pick that up!
14. Don't you dare pick that up!
15. Don't put that on your head!
16. Get out of the trash!
17. Don't do that!
18. Will you just do it!
19. What is your name?
20. How old are you?
21. Don't put that in your pants!
22. Please stop talking!

All of these phrases are used at least once a day, usually by 10am each morning. After I say each of these things, no matter to which child, it it followed up with a "Why Mom?"

Welcome to my day. :)

Crappy, Oops, I mean, Happy Mothers Day

A day of sweet, handmade cards, that my husband will force the kids to make. I know the only reason the kids will sit through it, is because they get to use the glue sticks! My hands will be sticky after the first card, I will then stick to all the other cards and accidentally pull off the tiny sparkly details, that will cause some kind of breakdown for sure. Then I will go vacuum under the table, where they made the cards the night before.

Breakfast in bed...more like, coffee on the couch.

I'll do a few loads of laundry, empty and refill the dishwasher, give the kids a nutritious breakfast of powdered donuts and juice. I'll take a nice long shower, most likely with a couple kids taking their morning poops in the bathroom with me. I will break up a few wrestling matches, clean up the house, and fight with the kids to get themselves dressed.

My husband is buying me an outdoor swing for my special day. Four kids, at Lowes, on a Sunday....I just can't wait! I will con my husband into getting me some flowers to plant in the yard, oh, and also picking up moms day flowers for my own mother. The rest of the day will be spent telling the kids about 80 times why we are not planting the flowers in the yard TODAY. We will visit Nana and Gramma. A few tantrums will break out (I call them nutties) when its time to leave. On the way home, the kids will ask, another 40 times if we can plant the flowers when we get home.

I will come home to a messy house and whiny kids and my husband leaving for work. I will clean up the house, get the kids washed up and off to bed. I will finally get to sit down with my computer and try to watch my reality show, I will have to pause it 3 or 4 times, because my daughter will keep getting out of bed to ask me if we can plant the flowers tomorrow.

Moms do not get a free pass, even on Mothers Day. So, enjoy your day of sticky hands, 1000 questions, and everything you normally do in a non-Mothers Day day. We are moms, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and we wouldn't have it any other way. Happy/Crappy Mothers Day to you!

Drop That Cupcake Diet

I've been on a diet now, for about 30 years. I still have not reached my goal weight. I have done the Slim Fast diet, the Weight Watchers diet, the starvation diet, the kids picking off of your plate diet, along with a few other crazy diets. I do not have time in my day to count each calorie I eat, or every point I consume. I don't want to drink my meal from a can or die from starvation. I think every woman is looking for a way to lose weight, the faster the better. If that way is also healthy, wouldn't that be excellent?

Being a mom, we usually put our needs last, There is just not enough time in the day to fit in a trip to the gym, or a leisurely run.. unless the carriage your children are in, gets loose and rolls down the driveway headed toward the street. I have tried to work out at home. Yoga ball workout, turned into 3 kids bouncing on an upside down mom and a few bumped heads. Zumba, turned into 3 kids in their underwear, wrestling to Reggaeton music. Latin dance ended in a few squished toes and a lot of crying, and Turbo Jam brought out the karate kids, little fists and feet flying everywhere. I will not give up, trying to fit a workout in my day somewhere, but for now, we do a cardio cleanup, where we run around the house and try and pick up the messy rooms as fast as we can, the kids get excited that I am letting them run in the house and I am happy that they are actually putting things away as they fly down the hall.

 Even though you can't fit an hour long workout into your day, you can still lose weight. By just changing what you eat, you will drop pounds and feel better about your self. I am not saying that you shouldn't try and find time to exercise, but don't put off your diet because you think it won't do any good unless you workout.  I have recently lost 18 pounds by just changing the way I eat. Through my chiropractor, who is also a nutritionist, I have learned a new, healthy way to consume food, have more energy and never be hungry. With all this new energy I have, maybe, just maybe, I will find time in my day to start working out. I think I will start.....next week. :)

In my next post, I will talk about the diet and all the information I have learned. For now, drop that cupcake and think thin, healthy thoughts.